Hey there! Thank you for taking time to read my blog. Today’s blog post is a continuation of how to conquer negative emotions 1.0; click here to read it! The insight into going beyond the surface of your emotions is key in this conquest we have set out on…
So, last time I shared about something I was dealing with and how I had started getting over it. Emotional healing takes time. Heck! All healing takes time. That leads me to #2.
#2. Be patient & trust the process
Emotional healing takes time
Like it or not, this might take a bigger chunk out of your time than you had anticipated. Don’t quit on me just yet. I have a life experience to back this “allegation” up.
At the dusk of my teen age, I decided to be more outgoing and less self-condemning. I was on a serious self-love campaign. (Being all sad and mopey had bored me anyway and yielded nothing)
It was at the peak of this “new Shelah” my first best-friendship was formed.
Or so I thought…
My first best-friend relationship built me and broke me in ways I never thought possible. In retrospect, I cannot really cast all the blame on her; I, too was emotionally immature and unprepared for the turbulence that threatens to wreck most relationships.
Those 10 months were some of the happiest and darkest times of my life. It was exhilarating to discover a fierce protectiveness for loved ones but damning to feel your own sword pierced into your heart. (A bit much? Hihi)
Anyway, the point is;
We had a falling out; one that almost broke me. For nine months after the break-up I struggled with insecurities and feelings of hurt and betrayal. I even swore never to have a best-friend again! (What a load of…) I have amazing friends now who I can call best-friends (but don’t…I guess I am still healing.)
In the crushing dark times of despair, it may feel like the sun will never shine again. I want to tell you that it will. Everything in life follows a season or cycle, it cannot remain winter forever and neither will summer never end. There are happy times after the dark times and dark times might come when you least expected them to. The trick is to enjoy the happy times and prepare for the dark times such that when they do come, the light of life is not snuffed out of you.
For those in the valley, you gotta keep your head up! Stay afloat! Don’t stop swimming; your victory is on the way. Don’t quit on yourself even when you feel like everything is meaningless (and you will feel this way at times). Remember to be patient with yourself and give yourself time to heal.
In the waiting
After diving deep beyond the surface, confronting your inner demons and understanding that it takes time, there are some things to do in the waiting.
I will not go into great detail since the content has already been expounded on in my previous posts but I will list them here;
It is tempting to moan, mope, groan and complain about the negative emotions. Sometimes it might even fell good to do so. But all you are doing is sabotaging yourself if this is all you do. Talk to a friend to get it off your chest but do not go around waving it as a banner in everyone’s face. This only serves to strengthen the negative emotion and give it more power over you than it actually has.
Look for at least 3 things to be grateful for everyday and say them out loud. Do not allow a temporary setback to become your whole life. This too shall pass. Things are going to get better!
#4. Quit comparing yourself and your progress to that of others
Everyone has a lane in which they are running this race called life. The funny thing about this particular competition is everyone can win in their own lane no matter how fast or slow they move. All they must do, is remain true to themselves and their lanes.
Another funny thing about this race is that some people are in cars while others are walking but it is okay. Your car is just down the road so stay in your lane.
Comparison often yields bad fruit…
Just because someone else too a shorter time to get does not mean you cannot get it as well. Appreciate yourself every step of the way.
You are worth celebrating. The tiniest victory is still a victory. Go all out and even cut a cake and pop some confetti (if it is within budget of course). What I am trying to say is; as you try to get back up again from the negative emotion that had you bound, your feet might slip or your strength might give out for a little while. If you fall flat on your face, it is okay…get back up, dust yourself off and walk away from your chains one shaky step at a time.
Looking at everybody else who seems to have it all together and beating yourself up is pointless. Most of what these people allow you to see is a facade anyway, so quit comparing!
Tihihi…so much for not going into detail #gift_of_gab
Probably should wrap this up…
Emotions are a complex thing. I do not claim to have any qualifications in the field of emotional health save for the experiences I have had. While this post shares a road map to my journey, yours might be completely different. Nevertheless, embark on this journey of conquest and bask in the glory of your victory no matter how long or what direction it takes.
Please share any tips on how you overcame negative emotion in the comments. Don’t forget to like, share and subscribe.
My next post will be about something close to my heart; How to Develop a Consistent Workout Lifestyle…