Life Hacks

How to get comfortable in your own skin!

How to get comfortable in your own skin

Hey there! Thank you for visiting my blog; Of Life and Things. Today, I would like to share 3 ways to get comfortable in your own skin.

A bit of a backstory…

While I was growing up, I could not help but notice that many people wore smaller size school uniforms than I did. My rotund little body was all I could focus on every time I passed a shop display or car window. Why couldn’t I be like all the other little girls? What was wrong with me…with my body?

Looking back, I realize that it was countless comments from peers, family and the television that strengthened my distaste for my body. Pretty soon, I was doing the mental and verbal beating all by myself; no help needed. As the years went by and I blossomed into a young woman, I still felt the claws of low esteem dig into my back each time I tried to break out of its prison. Excellent grades and good oratory skills did nothing to dissuade me from the misconception that I was ugly, insignificant and too fat to deserve any good in my life.

I hated my body. I hated my skin colour. My weaknesses were always more pronounced than my strengths because no matter how hard I tried, I could never write myself as the beautiful princess in this story. Fed up of all the negativity and icky emotions that turned by blood to sludge all day, I made the decision to change at the age of 18. That was a watershed in my life. Everything changed the day I decided to get comfortable in my own skin.

This is part of how I did it…

Re-define beauty for you…

It is indeed true what they say; “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.” If you think negatively about how you look, even a platoon of swoon-worthy guys or girls falling at your feet singing the praises of your beauty will never convince you otherwise. When you look in the mirror, your eyes see what your brain wants them to see.

When you look in the mirror, your eyes see what your brain wants them to see.

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Yes, it is indeed true, you need to change your mind to change your life. Changing your mental blueprint of beauty is the first and most important step towards getting comfortable in your own skin.

I’ll share with you a few practical ways to do this;

#1. Daily affirmations about your appearance

#2. Counter every negative thought and comment about your appearance with 5 positives

#3. Say “I am beautiful” out loud every time you see your reflection

I know! I know…some of these stuff just seem weird…but they work.

What you focus on expands!


If all you see are your flaws, they will indeed expand in your mind’s eye. Appreciating and acknowledging the good things about yourself will set your mind on the path towards noticing these good things more. And as this happens, your brain will link its definition of beauty with what it sees in the mirror…your reflection.

There will be a lot of resistance from your brain and you may feel tempted to fall back to old patterns of thinking. Commit to doing this for 30 days (morning and evening) and you will not want to stop. Compliments about yourself will be rolling off your tongue in no time. It’s worth a try…it’s not like you have anything to lose anyway…

Know and understand your personality…

So, you mean I have to take one of those personality tests? Yes! Yes, you do. I would recommend the Myer-Briggs test, it gave me a better understanding of my personality because of the specificity and detail.

Before I took the test, I was confused, flustered and frustrated. I could not for the life of me understand why I craved company one moment and solitude the next. It was impossible to fathom the insatiable need to have everything my way (perfect). I was worried I was socially broken because of the loyalty I showed by never quite received in return.

All that changed when I discovered that I had the gift of the Advocate personality (INFJ-T)

All the paradoxical feeling started to make sense. As a matter of fact, I embraced them because I knew and understood that God had made me just right. I took on things that had meaning and gave me more satisfaction and fulfillment. I quit trying to be more like another personality type that I thought was more empathetic or laid-back. The things people say about my personality just don’t stick like water on a duck’s back. But that was all after I understood the general personality make up I had.

Related; 5 Simple Hacks to Move From Frustrated to Fulfilled

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I encourage you to take the personality test. It will help you appreciate your strengths more and work towards strengthening your weak points. Everyone is different. That’s true. But to understand your uniqueness, a good foundation would be the broad category of personality that you fall into. I’m not saying the test is 200% accurate, or that you’ll have an epiphany the moment you get the results back. All I am saying is, accepting yourself and being comfortable in your own skin might come a lot easier if you understand why you behave the way you do.

A lot of research has been done on the behavioral patterns, weaknesses, strengths and whatnot of the personality type. It’s your business to know about you. So do your job! Take the test!

After your mind-set changes and an understanding of your behavioral patterns is concertized, there is only one thing left to do…

Appreciate yourself…

It feels good when other people thank and appreciate us. I know I am encouraged to do even more for them when they express their gratitude for how I helped. So, why not appreciate yourself for a thousand little things everyday?

I tried this and found that the more I looked out for the good things I had done, the more good things I did; for myself and others. As a result, I grew to love myself more. I understood that even the little rotund girl could make a positive change in her world and the worlds of others. Appreciate yourself and others!


Appreciate yourself for 5 things everyday for 30 days. And watch your attitude towards yourself shift into a more positive one.

Thank you for reading! If you have any suggestions on how to overcome low esteem and / or getting comfortable in your own skin (as I call it), please leave a comment below.

Love y’all,



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  1. Wow
    Great hearing your testimony

    We have all felt inadequate many times but thanks for the boldness of putting your testimony out here.

    Am sure it will encourage multitudes.

    Keep going Shelah

  2. Hey Shelah, thanks for this post coz i can totally relate. I can’t say that I have fully embraced the uniqueness that is me, but am working on getting there!!!! Thank you

    1. One little step at a time, PauPau! I am also struggling with accepting some things, but the key is to keep on keeping on

  3. Hi Shelah, I’m very grateful that I had to read such a beautiful and important piece of wisdom from a great friend like you..It has really changed my thinking and if you can just get a glimpse of me I’m having a bright smile thanks to you…I really appreciate the great work you’re doing…Please continue giving us even more important pieces….I have always ignored the links you sent in my inbox saying”it’s one of those adverts for networking business” But today I was seated somewhere thinking a lot about some stuff and boom..I tapped n opened the link and what I found inside was so outstanding and beautiful
    Thx alot Shelah

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